Life Happens

WoW - Today is July 4, 2017

I was diagnosed November 17, 2016 with breast cancer. Today was a day off from radiation treatment but only to return tomorrow. Seems that one minute I'm my usual happy self and the next minute I'm crying. I'm trying to calm my mind and be mindful. On the other hand I still need to start thinking about what's next in my life. You see I'm always thinking and planning and writing my goals down. How do I go about planning without thinking and writing all this stuff down? That is my big question Zig Ziglar? How do I calm my mind to sleep at night while at the same thing thinking about what's next? 

I used to be so overwhelmed with all my thinking and planning that I would just freeze. Normally I'm always that person that is in the right time at the right place for so many things. I didn't expect that to go the direction with getting breast cancer. I guess I can't pick and choose can I? 

So that is precisely what I'm dealing with right now. I'm committed 100% to my radiation treatments right now. But soon I will have to think about a hysterectomy. My poor body is all I can say right now. I haven't cried today but last night I think I was crying. Honestly at this point, I think it's perfectly natural to cry. I've had a lot that has happened to me. I just have to keep moving forward and continue to process all this stuff. 

I'm just like the next person and I like to pretend about how things will be one day. I dream of a beach with the cheapest home I can find, a dog and perhaps a tiny goat. I don't think that's asking for much actually. Heck I have earned it with flying colors. I forgot to add my coffee table books on my list. It's been one emotional roller coaster ride with all my treatments. I didn't have to deal with vomiting but I did have to deal with a lot of stressful events that happened prior to my diagnosis. My life has been turned upside. I have completed chemotherapy, breast cancer surgery, and now its radiation treatments. I think I can honestly say I should be able to handle anything after this. Since I'm always working full-time on my wellness I need to continue to add everything that allows me to be mindful. I think it's okay to do a little planning but don't side step anything. If it's something that I can be mindful with, then I need to add it in my daily schedule and it least be focused on bringing all those goals to fruition no matter what.